Monday, February 18, 2013
What I hope farming has taught me about having kids.
Meg is pregnant. Which means in popular terms that I am pregnant too. The catch phrase is "we are pregnant" We use it all the time. And people give us their unsolicited advice as to "How it its going to be." We generally keep our mouth shut and accept the fact that humans want to help each other but have a generally misguided way of doing so.
In my head as a farmer I often think "how it has been". I hope that some of the spiritual, mental, and emotional seasoning from farming, will carry over and cushion the landing of having a baby in our arms in May. I am writing this with a good chance that I will re read this post, and look back and laugh! I guess anyway you cut it, it makes for good reading.
So here we go, What I hope farming has taught me
1.) It is twenty four hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year, strong, weak happy or sad, sick or healthy- you will do it until the day you die. There is no day off, there are hardly any special days, it is just the way it is. It took forever to accept this one and make peace with it.
2.) Never challenge God to a duel. I did that once- screaming at the sky in the middle of the night in rage " Bring it on". God can bring it like you would not believe, and he never gets tired. God brought it for 10 years straight. God dropped my on my knees praying Hail Mary's and I didn't know I was Catholic.
3.) Do the work cheerfully when you can. It is always there, it will always need to be done, you are the chosen person to do it. There will be grumpy days.
4.) Moments in Heaven are usually juxtaposed with moments in Hell. The minuet you watch a magical sunset will be the same night you clean diarrhea out of your own bed.
5.) Plan. Only because you know all too well they will change. Shit will only go down on the days you have to be somewhere.
6.) "Some days you will run the farm, and some days the farm will run you." Insert child in place of farm to make this lesson carry over.
7.) "If I could farm half as well as I know how, I will be one hell of a farmer." Insert parent in the place of farmer to make this lesson carry over.
8.) Never take a pregnant cat in a Cattle deal, where a calf has to ride home in the cab of the truck. I don't know what that has to do with parenting it just seems like good advice from experience.
9.) If you let the shit pile up, you will be working your ass off when you want to be out in the sun. Piled up shit is smelly, its hard to shovel, and you curse yourself every time you let it pile up, saying to yourself "you know better!" Bottom line? You will have to shovel the shit, today tomorrow or the next day. It really doesn't matter. It will be the same job, on any of those days, it will just be what you chose it to be.
10) Rest on Sundays. Work with your partner. Give each other time off . Graciously take what your partner has given you. Eat. Sleep when you can. 3:30am is a fucked up time of day. Coffee makes it better. Love will get you up every morning. Love is the only thing strong enough to keep you going.
-From Popa Falby to Baby Falby